that loving solution (that 70s show)

It is a pitiful truth that great projections of love, being especially conspicuous so near the holiday of St. Valentine, are plagued by fake lovers.  These fake lovers are adulterers, exploiters of our most trusting members of society, and overall, master manipulators.  

Dare I speculate that the growing number of these adulterers have put our nation in shambles; they are the cause for ninety percent of vengeful actions and result in millions of dollars worth of destroyed property (not to mention the physical engagements jealousy can bring people to act upon).  Even worse, philandering calls for the humiliation and defamation of the innocent party.  I think it is an agreeable assertion that "whoever could find out a fair, cheap and easy method" to solve this unbearable epidemic should experience little resistance in its integration.  

Well, after much reflection, I have come upon a most humble solution: a system to permanently mark our mates.  Now, I am not proposing something as barbaric as a cow or even slave branding, as this would be inconsiderate, especially to those who have skin sensitivities.  No, I am proposing for serious couples to have tattoos corresponding to their significant other.  This is a much more modest, yet modern and effective solution.  Aye, the greatest human enemy is shame, and if adultering acts were to be made with visible evidence that the man or woman committing the heinous crime belongs to someone other, shame would surely dissuade even the most unscrupulous lovers.  

I have recently consulted "a very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtues I highly esteem," a renowned psychologist, on this pressing issue and have received nothing but support for my modest proposal.   "Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern" of couples that have bitterly separated, yet each party still suspected of infidelity due to his or her tattoo.   To that I respond: do not fret.  The threat of this will only cause for more caution in entering new relationships that may yield these markings and will offer as a motive to couples to work harder at protecting their relationships.  

It is not enough to ask for a society that values trust, we must force this trust upon it.  We cannot change the American consumerist mindset that views everything as disposable, temporary... but we can create permanence in our relationships ourselves.